Derby County Coach, Jim Smith (far left), says he was chuffed to be linked to a Citroen

HERE'S LOOKING AT YOU KID

Pablo bares his soul after conceding armwrestle

"SHE TURNED MY HEAD to compost and a camelia sprouted out of my ear", said Andalucian painter and decorator Pablo Pistacchio last night after a backstage meeting with The Good Fairy.

"She's the best" droned on the self-employed father of sixty. "She's inventive, provocative, charming and then - wham! - she'll get you in a surrealist half nelson and it's all over bar the linseed oil. I take my shirt off to her. If she ever needs someone to do the filling and sanding I'm her hombre, hombre."

The meeting between the world famous artist and Pizzicato followed a sell-out peformance by Diego Brown and the Good Fairy at stoke Newington's brand new Guggenheim Gallery where a two-week exhibition of works in ink, wood, glue and biscuits took the art world by storm. "It was nice to meet Mr Pinnochio" shouted the Good Fairy from the other side of the park. "But he's a bit of a liar isn't he. Still you don't get many Spanish people round here in the autumn. He could probably get a game of soccer on sundays if he sticks around. But he'd have tp put his shirt back on."

Although the Sketching Spaniard has been gracious in public, privately he is thought to be delerious with jealousy. A friend told Brown News: "He is delerious with jealousy."

Picante, whose most expensive paintings are all blue - cutting down on the need for brushes - said he'd never thought of using car doors instead of canvas. "Where I come from people just don't leave car doors lying around for artists to stick things to. Maybe if I'd lived here in Estock Nugonton instead of on the trendy left bank of Paris, I would have been more betterer."